Living

“Living, it's something we all take advantage of. To the average person living is breathing, blood pumping through your heart. But when you have lost it you realize what it truly is. When I first started recovery I thought I was living, I mean I was breathing, and blood was pumping through my heart. Somewhere in between two months of recovery and a year of recovery, I started to actually live. Living is laughing so hard you can't breathe, making new memories, midnight snack runs, going to your favorite concerts, and so much more. It takes time and is by no means easy to get to, but once you get there, really get there, it will become one of the best decisions you ever make. Personally, I never thought I could be free and happy. After a year and a half in ed treatment, I began to believe I was my eating disorder. I felt hopeless like I couldn't get better jumping between hospitals, residential, PHP, and IOP multiple times, but finally, I got there. I know it's easier said than done, but the more you push and push no matter how hard it gets - even if there's a little setback- the closer you are getting to truly living and true happiness. No one is saying to jump right into all in recovery, but push yourself once a week, twice a week, or every day and I promise (as someone who thought a life without an ed controlling me was impossible) that if you keep pushing it does 100% get better. You are loved, you are worthy, you are capable!”

@maireadshea